just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
