i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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