Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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