Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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