I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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