She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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