Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
