You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
