Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Welp...herpes.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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