Non-Jews are for practice
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
