I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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