I'm going to jail i love you
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
