I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
