O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
