The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
