My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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