I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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