I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I want to fling myself into the sun
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
