the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize