WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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