i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize