oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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