a queef is a wish your heart makes.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize
