yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
