it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
