for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
