Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
