dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
