That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
