her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
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