So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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