hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
