Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
