I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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