PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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