at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
