Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
