Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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