Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
