So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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