Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
