The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
