I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
