I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize