operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
