Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
