is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
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