Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
