Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
