You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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