I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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