i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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