He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
