Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize