I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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