dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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