i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize