I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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