I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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