Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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