Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
