Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
