Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
