More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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