guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
me + whiskey = a bad person
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize