I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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